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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?